If I surrendered, 

Happy Sunday! I just attended the Sunday Mass here in Paroquia de Santa Teresa y Santa Isabel, a big church near our place. This is my favorite church not only because it is near but for many reasons too.  There, I feel I am welcome and I feel safe and honest. 🙂 I will update this blog soon to include the photo of the church. 

I was looking back to everything that I encountered and it includes facing my depressions. I was in that point when I already want to end my life, and even planning how to end it, but everytime I was about to do it, God is acting and sending some angels to stop what I am thinking. I know we could enumerate the things that we hate about this life and sometimes because of that we cannot count the blessings that we are receiving and that is a fact we can’t deny.  It happens, it will happen again and again, but the most important thing is you are always willing to learn from it and the next thing you know is waking up in the morning stronger than yesterday and become transparent.  

Life maybe is like playing Mobile Legends:Bang Bang. 🤣 Sometimes you’ll concede defeat, sometimes you will lose, sometimes it’s laggy because of poor internet connection, but you know at some point, you’ll gonna win and you have the chance to become the MVP. ❤️

If I surrendered, maybe I do not know how it feels like to become happy, winner, and the MVP of my own battle! ❤️

I’ll wait anyway. 

I must admit that our love story is not only full of laughters and happiness, well, just like in cooking, we also need to put salt, pepper and some ingredients that does not tastes sweet just to get the perfect savour of every recipe. 
My fiancé is a cook and I am always proud of him whatever happens. I know he is the best person for me. Our match or combination really goes well. I am only focusing on that side of our life. We deserve to be happy, let go of the bad things and the bad sides, our God has a perfect plan for us and our life is too short to be hard on ourselves. 
This is me. I’ve been telling everybody about my love story and I cannot believe that I am going to get married this June 2017. Oh, I never dreamed of being a June Bride but I was surprised I’m gonna be! OUR Lord is really a GOOD LOVING LORD. Amen to that. 

I know that Long Distance Relationship doesn’t work all the time but I proved that with the perfect timing that God provides, it will work anyway. The title of this Blog is “I’ll wait anyway.” because this is what I am doing. You know guys, I’ve been very very impatient with everything way back when I haven’t found the love of my life. The one I feel who is perfect for me. I am just so amazed how love changes everything; vision, mission, perspective, life goals, converting bad to good, being sad to feeling alive, all of the negative vibes turned into shining shimmering splendid ultimate good vibes. Sounds like I am exaggerating but that is how I feel about love. 
The mose important thing that I learned during our relationship is that I practiced to adjust. Timezone, situations, and even complicated stuffs. I know that since when I was born it is already in me-these character of being flexible; but you cannot just summon it, one day you’ll find someone who will extract the best in you without you noticing it. You’ll just see one day that you are already doing your best, the best that you did not do to anybody else in the past. Amazing huh. This is not my very first long distance relationship, I blogged about it long time ago and my first one really did not work out, imagine that relationship is almost 4years already and we were only 1 year in long distance but I cannot take it and I am more than happy that I found the courage to get out of it. 
Thanks God for giving me the signs. 

I’ll wait anyway. I have trusted God and he proved his Love for us in manu different ways. I felt down multiple times and I’ve been hurt in different ways but He is always there to save me and show me his miracles. I’ll wait for the good things everytime I am involved in a bad situation. I’ll wait for the rainbow after the storms, and most especially I’ll wait for the time that we are no longer to experience Long Distance Relationsip. 

P.S
I would like to blog using the language that I am more comfortable with. But then for the sake of other readers, I will try to make a pure English blog. I’m afraid of grammatical errors but I hope it doesn’t matter anyway as long as I have the thought. 🤣 I graduated college 4 years ago and I know that I suck. Sad life. But little by little, I’ll improve. ❤️ 

Adjusted

I am a Filipina and I moved to Spain last September 21, 2014. I was then a 21 year old girl who knows nothing but taking risks and only focused on my goals- To have a Photography Studio. Earning in Philippines (for me) is not that easy, I tried working as a Car Sales Agent and I can say selling cars were never that easy as I am not working inside the showroom. There is a huge difference, I need to go to different places and giving brochures and leaflets and introduce the the product but anyway, that was quite challenging though; I can meet different extraordinary people who can afford buying cars. 

Moving on, my first months in Spain was tragic. I cannot believe myself in pure loneliness and homesick. I am just fighting that emotion and still pushing on achieving my goals and the main reason why I am here. While doing that, I forgot about myself. I forgot looking at the mirror and see a beautiful reflection. I was sooo blooming wayback in Philippines and I always look good but when I got here, I can’t believe how haggard I was. 😂 My mindset is: “I am not here to enjoy, I am here to work.” But having that mindset never gave me a chance to save a lot of money. 😂 Ironic. Hate the fact that the cost of living is expensive. And whenever I have money, I dunno why I end up helping people or relatives in Philippines who have less. I am now helping a neice in her studies paying her tuition fees and school needs and etc. 

After 2 years I started buying clothes shoes and personal stuffs. I feel good about myself whenever I am helping someone but then I forgot my own self. I cannot balance everything. One person helped me realize that it is not bad if I think about myself too with the fact that I am the one who is working. That I need to give myself a reward, and treat myself better. I get over my homesickness because of him. He served as my inspiration and you know what? I am going to marry him soon this year 2017. 

I owe him a lot. Before, All I know is taking risk and whenever I mess up in the middle I lose myself out of nowhere and later on don’t exactly know what to do. He is my Idol and I am going to be his No.1 Fan for life. 

I am still composing myself and everyday I love who I am because of Him. How can you leave a person who helped you in your most difficult situation. He maybe don’t do anything like staying beside me literally, we are in a Long Distance Relationship but he never leaves my side emotionally. That’s when I realized that Love does not only mean hugging and kissing, it also means feeding each other emotional needs and helping each other become the best version of own self. 

I am happy, I am now more than blessed than before that I am living in Madrid. I appreciate what I have though it is still hard to earn money, BUT I never had zero resources. God always provides. Amen. I just hope I always have a lot of love to give, an endless one. I thank God for everything. I adjusted. I have an inspiration. Glory to Him!