If I surrendered, 

Happy Sunday! I just attended the Sunday Mass here in Paroquia de Santa Teresa y Santa Isabel, a big church near our place. This is my favorite church not only because it is near but for many reasons too.  There, I feel I am welcome and I feel safe and honest. 🙂 I will update this blog soon to include the photo of the church. 

I was looking back to everything that I encountered and it includes facing my depressions. I was in that point when I already want to end my life, and even planning how to end it, but everytime I was about to do it, God is acting and sending some angels to stop what I am thinking. I know we could enumerate the things that we hate about this life and sometimes because of that we cannot count the blessings that we are receiving and that is a fact we can’t deny.  It happens, it will happen again and again, but the most important thing is you are always willing to learn from it and the next thing you know is waking up in the morning stronger than yesterday and become transparent.  

Life maybe is like playing Mobile Legends:Bang Bang. 🤣 Sometimes you’ll concede defeat, sometimes you will lose, sometimes it’s laggy because of poor internet connection, but you know at some point, you’ll gonna win and you have the chance to become the MVP. ❤️

If I surrendered, maybe I do not know how it feels like to become happy, winner, and the MVP of my own battle! ❤️

God is Reminding you, Your Life is Beautiful

Normal lang naman na makaramdam tayo ng lungkot and loneliness lalo kapag literal kang mag-isa. May natutunan lang akong technique para makaiwas sa pagiisip ng hindi masaya ang buhay ko. Yup. And actually ngayon eh patuloy ko pa ring pina-practice dahil mahirap talaga syang i-apply sa daily life. But it is helping me a lot. 
 Totoo naman napakadaming stress at andami ng nangyari sa buhay natin na hindi magaganda. Kakainis lang kapag maaalala mo at madami kang bagay na pagsisisihan. Like duh, kung maiibalik lang natin ang panahon di ba?

So eto na nga sa natutunan ko, well all these opinions only comes from me, personal experiences at wala kong ibang pinatutungkulang iba kundi sarili ko (in case may makabasa na iba na baka akala eh sila ang pinaghuhugutan ko). You can try and reflect too if you want, but then, I’m just sharing. 😘
1. Napapaisip lang ako ng malulungkot na bagay kapag Hindi ako Busy. 
-totoo. Kahit na sabihing nasa trabaho naman ako, huhu. Kasi kapag nasanay ka na na everyday yun na lang ang routine mo parang naghahanap ka ng something new. Kaya ang ginagawa ko minsan, sa vacant hours ko nagpupunta ako ng mall, window shopping or naghahanap ako ng maliit na kapehan at nagkakape ako. Maiba man lang ang environment. Tapos naghahanap ako ng pagkaka-abalahan talaga whether it is selling something or what. Basta maging busy lang ako. Wag lang akong mapapaisip talaga ng masasamang bagay that doesn’t really help at all. Nakakatanda lang, nakakasakit lang ng ulo eh ang init init ng panahon.  
2. Active masyado ang utak ko at hindi pupwede ng walang iniisip. 
–totoo rin. Haha! Sa sobrang active ng utak eh lahat na lang gustong isipin. Sa gabi na lalo, kaya ako eh nagpapaka busy sa online games kapag hindi makatulog. Kahit tinatamad ako sige lang wag lang ako ma-stress at makaalala ng mga nakaraang ayaw ko naman na rin talagang alalahanin. In short, I am helping my self to move on. Di ko inaasa masyado sa iba, hihingi na lang ako ng tulong kapag hindi ko na talaga kaya.  

3. Last but not the least, kulang sa pag-simba. 
–Sad truth. Sa sobrang pagkabusy ko sa ibang bagay, at pagiisip, minsan iniiwasan ko talaga yung pagpunta sa simbahan. Lalo pag matinding stress ang dumadating as in when it rains it pours ganon, though I promise na nagdadasal naman ako kahit saan ako abutin ng doubts. Kahit habang nagkukudkod ng inidoro. 🤣 Pero hindi lang talaga ako pumapasok sa simbahan kahit may time ako. ☹️ Siguro dahil alam kong iiyak lang ako ng iiyak don at guilty ako sa mga pagkukulang ko sa Kanya. Nakakatuwa lang rin ang boyfriend ko na alam nya na naniniwala ako sa milagro, sa Dios, at sa kung ano ang kayang gawin ng relihiyon saamin, na sa tuwing alam nya na iba na ang aura ko, sya pa mismo ang magpapaalala sakin na sumimba ako. And I find it sweet and ideal. Just perfect for me dahil lagi ko rin pinagdarasal na sana may magpaalala saakin ng mga bagay na nakakalimutan ko. Isang blessing lang. Hindi ko pa nasasabi sa boyfriend ko pero sobra akong thankful sakanya. Aminado naman ako saaking mga pagkakamali at pagkakasala kaya nga naiishare ko sa mga kaibigan ko ang insecurities ko sa buhay. Pero kahit ganun, dun pa rin ako syempre sa TAMA. So sisimba ako, and after kong sabihin kay God lahat, kahit ilang ulit ko pang sabihin eh I will feel good and tomorrow eh ang galing lang, parang hinipan ng hangin ang panahon. ❤️ 
I will enclose this with a photo i took using my Sony Alpha 5100. 🤣 Hindi po nila ako binayaran para mag endorse. Haha! 
God is telling you, you’re doing OK and you just have to trust Him. Everything including the bad ones is a part of a plan. Everything is for your own good kaya chillax ka lang. ❤️✌🏻👌🏻

I’ll wait anyway. 

I must admit that our love story is not only full of laughters and happiness, well, just like in cooking, we also need to put salt, pepper and some ingredients that does not tastes sweet just to get the perfect savour of every recipe. 
My fiancé is a cook and I am always proud of him whatever happens. I know he is the best person for me. Our match or combination really goes well. I am only focusing on that side of our life. We deserve to be happy, let go of the bad things and the bad sides, our God has a perfect plan for us and our life is too short to be hard on ourselves. 
This is me. I’ve been telling everybody about my love story and I cannot believe that I am going to get married this June 2017. Oh, I never dreamed of being a June Bride but I was surprised I’m gonna be! OUR Lord is really a GOOD LOVING LORD. Amen to that. 

I know that Long Distance Relationship doesn’t work all the time but I proved that with the perfect timing that God provides, it will work anyway. The title of this Blog is “I’ll wait anyway.” because this is what I am doing. You know guys, I’ve been very very impatient with everything way back when I haven’t found the love of my life. The one I feel who is perfect for me. I am just so amazed how love changes everything; vision, mission, perspective, life goals, converting bad to good, being sad to feeling alive, all of the negative vibes turned into shining shimmering splendid ultimate good vibes. Sounds like I am exaggerating but that is how I feel about love. 
The mose important thing that I learned during our relationship is that I practiced to adjust. Timezone, situations, and even complicated stuffs. I know that since when I was born it is already in me-these character of being flexible; but you cannot just summon it, one day you’ll find someone who will extract the best in you without you noticing it. You’ll just see one day that you are already doing your best, the best that you did not do to anybody else in the past. Amazing huh. This is not my very first long distance relationship, I blogged about it long time ago and my first one really did not work out, imagine that relationship is almost 4years already and we were only 1 year in long distance but I cannot take it and I am more than happy that I found the courage to get out of it. 
Thanks God for giving me the signs. 

I’ll wait anyway. I have trusted God and he proved his Love for us in manu different ways. I felt down multiple times and I’ve been hurt in different ways but He is always there to save me and show me his miracles. I’ll wait for the good things everytime I am involved in a bad situation. I’ll wait for the rainbow after the storms, and most especially I’ll wait for the time that we are no longer to experience Long Distance Relationsip. 

P.S
I would like to blog using the language that I am more comfortable with. But then for the sake of other readers, I will try to make a pure English blog. I’m afraid of grammatical errors but I hope it doesn’t matter anyway as long as I have the thought. 🤣 I graduated college 4 years ago and I know that I suck. Sad life. But little by little, I’ll improve. ❤️ 

Gumawa ka ng mabuti at babalik

Gumawa ng mabuti, bumalik ng 4x! Nakakaiyak na Lord. Bakit ga ho ang bait nyo saakin. 😭😭😭
Nung nasa Airport ako ng Tenerife South pabalik ng Madrid, may nanlimos saakin. Sabi nya nawalan daw sya ng pera, 15€ daw kailangan nya 5 lang nasakanya. binigyan ko ng 10€. Pero hinahabol ko sya ng tingin, alam ko naman na modus lang yon. Pero sa loob loob ko, dibale na. Kailangan nya kaya yun ginagawa. Nakalimutan ko na rin yon. 
Kanina, may customer na matanda. Haha. Di naman ako naimik at busy ako sa pagba-budget ng kasal namin. Kung gusto ko daw na maging girlfriend nya ako. Sabi ko “Hala. Ayaw ko. May asawa na ako. Ikakasal na kami.” Pinakita ko singsing ko tapos yung notebook ko ng budget.  Sabi nya “lagi na lang akong late. Sabihin mo saakin kapag divorced ka na.” HAHAHA. As if naman.  Tapos inabutan ako ng 50€!!! Ayaw ko tanggapin. Sabi ko di naman kailangan gawin yon. Nakapag tip na sya ng 4. Sapat sa yon sakin. Mag enjoy daw ako kasama ng boyfriend ko. 

Akala nya nandito ang bf ko. Hehe. 
Tapos nalaman ko ang story nya, lagi pala yun sa bar kaibigan ng boss ko. Mayaman daw talaga may ari ng gasoline station na madaming branches. Galante daw. Mdami dn daw un babae. Namatay daw pala ang una nyang asawa. Naisip ko agad, depressed. Ikaw ba naman mamatayan ng asawa na mahal na mahal mo. Kaya sya galante, dahil sabi nya daw aanhin daw nya ang pera hindi naman daw madadala sa hukay. 
Hanggang ngayon speechless pa rin ako. Di ko alam ang mafefeel. Iniisip ko na lang na regalo nya saamin ng boyfriend ko ang binigay nya dahil nga sinabi nya mag enjoy kami sa celebration ng New Year. At the same time,di ako sanay makahawak ng perang di ko pinaghirapan. Instant money eh. Di naman galing sa parents ko. Iba ang feeling. 
Now I am praying for that old man, na sana mahanap nya na ang makakapagpasaya sakanya. Lord ikaw na ang bahala sa taong yun.

Benefits of Long Distance Relationship (LDR)

We are all aware that many relationships are also in long distance. Most are left in  the Philippines, and your partner will go working abroad. Saying this as a Filipina who is also in a LDR situation. I have friends too that after how many years being with their loved ones in one country ended up LDR. Which in our part is super hard. But we will not focus on that parts ‘coz I have a list of benefits of this situation. Believe me, being in a LDR is not as complicated as everyone thought. It is just a matter of acceptance and maturity. If you cannot handle everything, better you stop fooling yourselves in the first place. Too, I am not saying that LDR is only for strong people, I always believe we are all strong in our own ways. Self control and positivity is the key. Not just love and trust and loyalty. 

Here are some benefits of LDR in my opinion and own experience:

1. You are going to have more time for your self.

Yes. That is a fact. After how many years being accompanied by your loved ones, you are finally going to see the wider world you only thought is as small as your hand. You will realize you can do more and better, it is like being single but you are in a relationship. BUT, nevee ever take this for granted as you know you have your other half in the other side of the world. You will not realize this at first bec.you are covered with loneliness and self pity. You will always miss the one you love, but trust me, helping your self first will set your relationshio worry free. 

2. You will realize who really matters most.

You’ll meet different kinds of people wherever you will go. You will be a little curious about your surroundings and will get involved with different groups of friends, but later on you will go home alone and realize one thing; they don’t really matter. You and your loved ones are more important. You are just lonely to hang out, you are longing for hugs from the people you loved the most. Just do not get off with this mindset and you are not going to be in a situation where you can think of cheating. Do not cheat, there is no better hand and lips than the love of your life. Always remember that. 

3. You will have more time to think.

If you are always together with your loved ones, you have few times about thinking. You might have multiple exchange of convos but you have few times to really think about what’s really going on. If you are in LDR your free times are always spent on thinking and realizing stuffs and everything is self improvement. Which is also better. 

4. You will always be missed and everything always feels new.

Yep. He or she will always miss you and there is no better feeling knowing that one person is thinking about you from the time he wakes up. You are going to feel special everyday specially when you both do efforts to make each other happy. 

5. You will love each other more.

Distance makes you know how you can manage everything good and bad and how to handle things carefully. You always long for each other then it means the love will always be burning. Just have proper time management of communications and then you are set. Just believe that nothing is permanent except change, your situation will always get better, and so your feelings will change from less to more. 

“Problems are always present. But never exaggerate. Never put yourself down for you do not own all the problems of the world.” -Jhevey Razon

Hindi natin masasabi ang bukas.

Sa twing may mga nadaan saating mga problema, maliit man o malaki, basta alam nating maaapektuhan ang ating future eh sobra tayong nagwoworry. Normal lang yun. Dahil takot tayong hindi maging ayos ang takbo ng lahat. Takot tayong hindi natin magawa ang ating mga plano o balak sa buhay. Nakakatakot naman talaga. Nakakapangamba.

Ang kasalukuyan ay ang magiging resulta ng hinaharap, kailangan nating ibuhos ang ating best ngayon dahil hindi natin masasabi ang bukas. Wag nating hintayin ang pagkakataong magsisisi pa tayo dahil lang sa maliit na bagay na ating magagawa na akala natin ay “okay lang.” Lagi nating isipin kung ano ang makakasama, lagi nating isipin ang mga “bawal” at ang mga bagay na hindi natin pupwedeng gawain. 

Ang tukso ay parang “buffet” lagi lang yang nakahain, at ikaw ang nagbabantay ng buffet alam mong hindi yun para sayo kaya wag kang titikim. Pero minsan dahil sa kaakit akit nitong presentasyon, mabangong amoy at samu’t saring pagkain, di mo maiiwasang isipin na tumikim lalo na kung walang nakatingin. Pero dadating ang araw makikita ka ng Boss mo, at pag nahuli ka, saka ka palang matatakot sa susunod na mangyayari sayo. Pwede kang matanggal sa trabaho, pwede kang mailipat sa panget na pwesto, pwedeng masira lahat ng mga plano mo sa mga susunod pang araw. Ang buhay mo sa trabaho ay relasyon mo sa sarili mo. Kailangang patunayan mo araw araw na karapat dapat ka sa posisyon mo. Pero tao ka lang at nagkakamali, pero lagi mong tatandaan na kahit anong ganda ng nakahain, ang tukso ay kailangan mong ipagpa-isang tabi pa rin. 

Wala kang ibang masisisi kundi sarili mo, pero dun mo mapapatunayan na may silbi ka pala sa mundo. Dahil kung ang iniisip mo lang ay ang sarili mo siguradong hindi ka mamomroblema ng todo. Alam mo kasing may mga taong nakasandal sayo, at alam mong may mga tao kang gustong mapasaya. Basta ngayon ang mahalaga, alam mo na. Wag kang papayag na maghapon kang walang  nagawang maganda. Dahil kung maghapon mong sisisihin ang sarili mo, lalo lang lalala ang sitwasyon at hindi ka makakagawa ng ayos at nasa plano. 

Mabuti nga at maliit na bagay lang ang naging problema mo. Hindi yung malalaking dahilan na as in ikaw ay naka-perwisyo. Basta eto lagi ang tatandaan mo, 

Ayos lang magkamali, basta ikaw eh matututo.