I’ll wait anyway. 

I must admit that our love story is not only full of laughters and happiness, well, just like in cooking, we also need to put salt, pepper and some ingredients that does not tastes sweet just to get the perfect savour of every recipe. 
My fiancé is a cook and I am always proud of him whatever happens. I know he is the best person for me. Our match or combination really goes well. I am only focusing on that side of our life. We deserve to be happy, let go of the bad things and the bad sides, our God has a perfect plan for us and our life is too short to be hard on ourselves. 
This is me. I’ve been telling everybody about my love story and I cannot believe that I am going to get married this June 2017. Oh, I never dreamed of being a June Bride but I was surprised I’m gonna be! OUR Lord is really a GOOD LOVING LORD. Amen to that. 

I know that Long Distance Relationship doesn’t work all the time but I proved that with the perfect timing that God provides, it will work anyway. The title of this Blog is “I’ll wait anyway.” because this is what I am doing. You know guys, I’ve been very very impatient with everything way back when I haven’t found the love of my life. The one I feel who is perfect for me. I am just so amazed how love changes everything; vision, mission, perspective, life goals, converting bad to good, being sad to feeling alive, all of the negative vibes turned into shining shimmering splendid ultimate good vibes. Sounds like I am exaggerating but that is how I feel about love. 
The mose important thing that I learned during our relationship is that I practiced to adjust. Timezone, situations, and even complicated stuffs. I know that since when I was born it is already in me-these character of being flexible; but you cannot just summon it, one day you’ll find someone who will extract the best in you without you noticing it. You’ll just see one day that you are already doing your best, the best that you did not do to anybody else in the past. Amazing huh. This is not my very first long distance relationship, I blogged about it long time ago and my first one really did not work out, imagine that relationship is almost 4years already and we were only 1 year in long distance but I cannot take it and I am more than happy that I found the courage to get out of it. 
Thanks God for giving me the signs. 

I’ll wait anyway. I have trusted God and he proved his Love for us in manu different ways. I felt down multiple times and I’ve been hurt in different ways but He is always there to save me and show me his miracles. I’ll wait for the good things everytime I am involved in a bad situation. I’ll wait for the rainbow after the storms, and most especially I’ll wait for the time that we are no longer to experience Long Distance Relationsip. 

P.S
I would like to blog using the language that I am more comfortable with. But then for the sake of other readers, I will try to make a pure English blog. I’m afraid of grammatical errors but I hope it doesn’t matter anyway as long as I have the thought. 🤣 I graduated college 4 years ago and I know that I suck. Sad life. But little by little, I’ll improve. ❤️ 

Ang LDR Life namin 

Di ako makatulog. Ang sarap mag-emote. Haha! Wala lang, biruin mo yun mula pagsampa nya sa barko, sa 9months na on board, araw araw kaming magkausap. May internet man sya o wala. (Salamat sa swabe kong internet. The best!) Kahit pa anong busy ko, nakakatawag ako sa oras; kung di man ako makatawag sa oras ibig sabihin lang nun tulog ako. 🤣 Pag di ako nakakatawag on time nagoonline yun, tinatanong kung bakit wala pa akong call. 🤣 Kaya di maari ang absent kahit pa magka-away kami ay naguusap pa rin. Kaya lang kami makakatulog na magkaaway dahil sa sobrang pagod na sa trabaho. Pero kinabukasan pinaguusapan pa rin. Hanggang ayos na ayos at swabe na ulit. Ang wish ko lagi saamin eh magmahalan na parang hindi nagbababag. ☺️👌🏻😀
Timezone.

Sa dami na ng inaatupag ko minsan siguro iilang beses palang ako nalito sa pag-kwenta kung ilang oras ang higit ko sakanya. Ayaw ko pa naman ng Math pero atag na akong magbilang. Haha! Jusko di ko malimutan yung 5PM sakanya eh mag 12 na ng hating gabi sakin. As in natulog ako ng 8:30 tapos gigising ng mag aalas dose. 🤣

Palibhasa sa ganoon masaya na kami. Sobrang saya na namin kapag nagkakausap kami, nakakawala ng pagod sa trabaho, updated rin kami. Ang tyaga rin nga nya, literal na telepono ang gamit ako eh naka headset tapos telebabad ng 2 oras.
Bonding.

Sabay kumain minsan sa gabi, nanunuod sya ng balita eh nakikinig rin ako kahit di ko nakikita, habang nagiinom minsan eh pinapatawag pa ako parang nakiki jamming rin. Haha! 

Eh may internet na sya madalas ngayon, menos call, pero kapag break time laro laro naman kami ng Mobile Legends. 🤣 Lagi kaming magkasagpi. Haha! Gusto nya lagi kaming magkalaro. 😍 

Minsan nagiinom rin kami habang magkausap, tapos kwentuhang walang katapusan ng kanyang mga kalokohan mula pagkabata, mga buhay namin nung highschool, mga experiences sa buhay, mga natutunan, madami pang iba. ☺️
Ending.

Tapos ngayon malapit na kaming mag kita. Natyaga namin ang araw araw na ganuon. 

Unbelievable, pero ayus rin eh. Kudos sa pagtutulungan naming dalawa. As in weeks n lang yung binibilang. I’m proud of us. Really. Hindi naman to madali pero bakit keri namin. 🤣❤️ Oh di baa. Walang imposible kapag gusto, kapag patas ang effort, kapag totoong love love na ito. Saaming dalawa lang kami nagkukuhanan ng lakas ng loob. 

Kaya kung sakaling gusto ko syang protektahan at ilayo sa kahit anong tingin kong makakasira saamin, siguro naman hindi masama, malaki talaga ang effoerts namin para lang mabahidan ng manchang basta na lang darating. Kung may mancha, ay lagi naman akong may pang-bleach na daladala. 🤣
Sincerely,

Vhey 

Ang pagmamahal ❤️

Ang pagmamahal ay parang Araw na sisikat sa umaga. Ang magpapaliwanag sa madilim mong gunita. Ang magiging init sa malamig na tinig na bubulong sa’yo kapag ang takot ay may nginig. 

Ang pagmamahal ay parang Buwan na kikinang sa gabi. Habang ang lahat ay tulog at ikaw ay walang katabi. Ang syang nagiisang pakiramdam na kailangan mo kapag may hikbi; kapag may luha na hindi mo maikubli. 

Ang pagmamahal ay maiihalintulad mo sa dalawang ‘yan.  Parehas may kinang kahit parang nag-uunahan.  Ano nga ba ang nauuna sa araw at sa buwan? Pero ang mas mahalaga ay palagi mo silang nararamdaman. 
Ang pagmamahal. 

Dear Future Self,

Hiii. Ikaw na ga yan? Ang galing mo naman! Sabi ko na kaya mo yan eh. ❤️😘

 Natutuwa naman ako na narating mo kung anuman ang meron ka ngayon. Natutuwa naman akong malaman na sa lahat ng mga tiis mo at luha at pagod sa trabaho at sa lahat ng pinagdaanan mo sa buhay eh successful ka na in all aspects. Galing mo sa part na yan. ☺️ Hindi talaga ako nagkamali, at kahit kelan di ako nagduda sa kakayahan mo. 😁 

Akalain mong nalampasan mo ang lahat ng yuuun? Aba Ateng, bibihira ang nakakarating sa ganang point ha. Para lang yang pag akyat ng bundok, nakakapago habang nasa kalagitnaan ka. Pero ang sarap ng feeling kapag nasa tuktok ka na. Kaya nga lang sa buhay, di natin pwedeng ihilera sa bundok. Kasi after mo dun di ka naman pwedeng mag stay sa taas forever, kaylangan mo rin bumaba at umuwi ng bahay. 😂 Pero even though it is not literally like that, kapag nasa peak ka na ng happiness mo kagaya ngayon, wag ka na bababa ha. Kung wala ng iaangat pa ang kasiyahan mong yan, maging masaya ka na muna sa meron ka ngayon. Pangalagaan mo yang happiness mo, at tandaan mong wag kang bababa. Wag mong isusuko ang lahat ng meron ka. Maging sa tuktok kasi ng bundok hindi mawawala ang bagyo, mas malapit sa taas mas malakas ang damage na idudulot sayo, pero consider that as a blessing. Bagyo, ulan, magpasalamat kang nababasa ka kaysa habang panahon kang tuyot at walang pagkuhanan ng mga bagay na pang bless mo sa iba. When it rains, it pours, sahod lang Bes dalawang kamay. Punuin mo ang balde mo ng ulan at bagyo, at ibuhos mo yan sa mga halamang natutuyo na ang ugat sa lupa. 

Ang swerte mo naman. Sobra. Sa nakikita ko ngayon ang saya saya mo talaga. Higit pa sa kasiyahan na naranasan mo dati. Share mo naman ang secret mo sa iba. Or better to say, share mo naman yung happiness mo sa iba.  Nung nakaraan ang lungkot mo eh, ilang beses ka na ba nakaranas ng ganun pero nakatayo ka pa rin! Ibang klase. ❤️🌸

Para ka palang spring time sa Madrid. Di ba ang ganda? 🌸❤️ May picture ka pa ng cherry blossom di ba? My God ang ganda ng cellphone mo nun yayamanin. Haha! Ano na ba yang gamit mo ngayon? 😁 Ikaw talaga lagi mong deserve ang mga best things ng buhay. How lucky you are really! Parang kelan lang di mo mahawakan ang mga gusto mo pero ngayon abot kamay mo ng lahat. 

Andaming blessings sayo ni God.  I-look back mo nga, di ka nauubusan ng mga taong nakakaunawa sayo kahit na minsan feeling mo mag-isa ka. Sila talaga yung totoo mong yaman eh. ☺️ Lalo na yung boyfriend mo at Mama mo na nararamdaman ka kahit di ka magsalita. Sila ang yaman mo. Sila ang makakapitan mo someday. ❤️ 

Unti unti mong na-reach lahat. Slowly, tinanggap mo ang mga bagay na hindi katanggap-tanggap at akala mong hindi mangyayari sa reality, pero you are so strong to always face the reality! Yung iba tumanda na at lahat eh niloloko pa rin ang sarili, pinaniniwala sa mga bagay bagay na hindi naman talaga totoo. Di ba nga lage mong katwiran, being true to yourself is being true to others.  👌🏻 Galing mo dun.  

Yung mga pangarap mo, Wow naman. Abot kamay. Dati hanggang planner lang pero ngayon andami ng improvments. How to be you po? 😁😍☺️

Sige na, ang haba na masyado ng letter ko. Alagaan mong mabuti ang sarili mo para sa asawa mo at sa pamilya mo. Kung minsan wala kang makakapitan pero tandaan mo, kung wala ka, hindi sila masaya, hindi sila matapang at wala silang lakas ng loob. 

God bless you SOBRA. More blessings and the best is always yet to come. Para sa’yo ang trophy ng kaligayahan dahil sa kabutihan mong walang hanggan. ❤️
Love,

Yourself.

When you’re tired, rest. 

Here at 100 Montaditos, Narvaez. It is my favorite place the food is cheaper than any other bars & restaurant you could ever encounter in Spain. There are burgers that costs €1,20 only. And beers in large beer mugs costs €1,50 and then you’re okay. 😁

I have been reading different blogs too about self improvement, how to be rich, how to save money, how to reach your goals. And it helps me a lot whenever I am in the state of overthinking. I know it sucks to overthink. But  when you are usually alone or when you feel down you can’t help it. Help your self or ask for someone’s help if you cannot fight it alone.  There’s a lot of solutions. 

I am tired about everything in my life.  I just cannot enumerate this or maybe I don’t have enough courage to share it for it is too personal but I am still lucky to have this life and God is giving me many reasons why I need to fight the challenge. 

When you feel like you’re tired, you can rest. Don’t quit, just rest. You only need to pause and gain back the energy so tomorrow you can fighy again once more. Be thankful that there’s a lot of people who can understand you despite on how you react on simple things. Your boss who always understands you even when you feel down and can’t go to work on time, you’re lucky. I’m lucky. Your boyfriend who catches every tears that’s falling from your eyes. I cannot imagine how one people like my boyfriend is happy whenever he sees me smiling or laughing and yet so bothered whenever he hear my voice soft and lonely. I can never thank him enough for being there for me. I’ve been so sad for a long time and I deserve to be happy too. That is what I always feel. But who else in this world is not lonely? Everybody does have a reason to be but some chooses not to. 

I saw myself super down and not loving myself enough. I do not want to be that girl anymore. I promise. When I feel tired, I rest, I exhale and get my self a mug of beer and go home like  I am not tired of everything. 

Good Sign of a Good Morning

I woke up lazy going to work. It is so cold and winter is not yet over. I was standing near the train station when I looked up and saw the sky. It was an amazing view and this does not happen every day in the city. I took my phone and captured a photo. 

No Filter, taken at Calle General Martinez Campos, Madrid Spain, 28010. Photo by: Jhevey Razon

No filter shot using my iPhone 7 Plus back camera.  I am really happy with the result. I love taking photos and wayback when I was in Philippines, I am a freelance photographer. I hope I can pursue my career in Madrid but it is hard to find a job for an immigrant like me. Someday, I hope I can work in a Photo Studio. ❤️

Happiness: Hard to earn

We laugh and smile and we’re not happy. I guess that laughing and smiling are just really a response to a certain action. I say so because it is easy to smile even you’re lonely but it will never be the same if it really means to me. 

Have you ever been so sad and you cannot put in details why? Have you been thinking about a lot of things and yet it led you to a neutral emotion (some kind of numbness) and then you find yourself in the corner of your room thinking and thinking again about a lot of stuffs, asking what’s wrong, lacking and what’s really going on? Or even asking for solutions about a problem you don’t even know where from? What do you call that state of mentality? 

I do not usually go out with friends, 3/4 of my life is basically working and “me” time. Every day there are few poeple in my inbox, a little chit chat. There are people available to talk but it is me who doesn’t feel like talking to them. What’s going on with my self.

I must admit I am missing someone. Being in a long distance relationship is hard, my boyfriend is a seaman and I hope you can imagine how hard it is to wait for the time, to adjust to time, to manage the time, skip sleeping because time is precious and you are not going to talk to him or see him everyday. 

Happiness is sacrifice. I can go out with friends but my friends are also busy working, and during my weekend days off, I want to relax in my room from Monday-Friday grind and sleeping 6 hours or less every night. I do not have so much time for myself and sometimes when homesickness strikes, it strikes hard. PLUS this effin hormones and PMS. Oh how I wish I could be with the person I love. You know, with just one hug all tiredness can be erased. And if you ask about my family, I am living with my mom and my father and 2 more sisters are in my own country. My Mom, I think feels the same way I do. But we must fight for this emotions and keep going on. Smile even if it is not that happy, fight on and live on because it is all part of sacrifice. 

Happiness is hard to earn. I sometimes do not know what happiness means. Contentment maybe? I am content with my life but I want to laugh the real laugh, smile the real smile, and go crazy over things and have fun. 

In short, I need a vacation. Miles awat from my work, recollect my broken pieces and get back my mindset. I need a time for me, for my boyfriend and I know with that, I’m going to be really HAPPY. 

Why do we hurt the ones we love?

To the person we love the most, to the person who made our life complete, to the person who made our shattered pieces in to brand new, we owe them big. We owe them so much. 

He is the reason of my everyday smile and my happiness in general. He is the reason why I choose to dream again and choose to love the love I never given to anyone else. He is the moon in my dark lonely night at the same time, the star that shines all day so bright. 

He is the one that made me live. The reason why I want to wake up even in my laziest morning. He is the time that I always look on to, the reason for everything I wish to do. 

But sometimes I can hurt him whenever I am sad. He is not OK seeing my eyes hurts so bad. When my tears started to fall he ran out of calmness; and panic starts to cover his face that’s before was only gladness. 

I wish I can be happy all the time. But being a girl is not as easy as cutting a lime. I hate that sometimes I need to burst but I need to say somehow my unspoken words. 

There’s more to life.

​”You go to places and you see the world, you make memories that you can bring until you grow old.” – #ldrandlifeblog
I have to repost this photo. I always long to see mornings like this. This makes me feel like I want to live more. This feels life. 

Kung hindi dahil sa boyfriend ko, hindi na ako mangangarap uli.

I realized that andami pang magaganda sa buhay than what we have right now. Ako nga eh, never in my life na naisip ko na makakakita ako ng ganito kagandang view. Never in my life na inakala kong posible palang mangyare lahat ng magagandang ito sa buhay ko.

Kagaya sa love life, friends. 

Nasayo lang yun if you want to see it also. If you are willing to grow or just stay there not moving on. 

Instead of doing bad things to feed your ego, why not do good things to improve yourself? I’ve seen people that are injured, badly hurt, emotionally broken. I’ve been there too. Somewhere in my life  I belong to that group of people. 

I saw them and saw what they are doing, i saw my self and I start comparing and I told my self,

“No, I do not want to be like that. I am hurt but I do not like to be bad nor kawawa.” 

Pag nasasaktan ako, I want to improve, physically, mentally, and emotionally. Kaya instead na manakit din ako ng iba? Hindi na lang. Hindi naman sila masasaktan eh. Bakit ko naman ilalagay ang sarili ko sa tabi ng bangin, tas pag nagtatalon ako don eh ako din naman ang may 100% chance na mahulog at mashigok. Hehe. 
I am not judging them people. They have their own life style, they have their own defense mechanism kung paano sila makakawala sa “sakit.” And I have my own way too. 

Hindi ko sinasabi na wag nilang indahin ang sakit na nararamdaman nila. It hurts a lot seeing the one you love walking away from you. Been there. I will go crazy if that happens to me. But one thing is for sure of that happens, I will cry today but I will be successful tomorrow. 
P.S.

When I write, I am talking to myself.

FALL 🍁

​”FALL”
I can still remember how it all started;

I was then broken and my pieces are scattered;

I was then free but feels like I am bottled;

And in just one moment my heart just rattled.
Your adventures makes me want to know you more;

Since our minds were both open like an open door;

Our talks get deeper as we walk the shore;

Then We felt like addicted to each other’s humor.
One day you said you love me seriously;

I cannot believe that I felt the same in all honesty;

But I just have to be very careful firstly;

Because I do not want to hurt you badly.
So I fixed my self and relaxed a bit;

Realized everything before I commit;

Been through a lot until I met my limit;

Cannot wait for more, I want to see you in the summit.
I prayed for you and you prayed for me;

Now we have each other unexpectedly;

Remember it’s Fall when we crossed that valley;

And we go together with this God’s given glory.

Autumn + s7 edge Pro Camera settings + VSCO